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The Reformers Rock, Pop, Punk & Glam The Reformers SPANNER

Spanner is the drummer for The Reformers and is a proppa cockaney geeza !

Growing up in the mean streets of Old London Town (taaaahn), Spanner was destined to become a Pearly King from a very early age and was groomed by some of the nastiest Cockney villains, to become a crime lord as well. At the age of 6 and dressed in his little sequin covered suit, he would lull Japanese tourists into the back streets of Kings Cross and sell them fake jellied eels that he made himself from tofu and cod liver oil. To be honest, there ain’t much difference but it set the young Spanner up in his own East London warehouse where he thrived producing ‘ookie cockles made from rubber bands and whelks made by soaking toe nail cuttings in castor oil. By the age of 17, he also ran a fleet of dodgy London black cabs where he personally schooled his drivers in picking up foreign tourists and using such phrases as “Naaah mate, this is a bleedin’ short cut” and “Oi ain’t neva seen the bleedin traffik this bad pal” and “It’s customary ta tip your driva at least a pony, if not a monkey” and “’ere yah go guv, just give me yah wallet, I’ll take the right amount”.

Now a multi-millionaire, Spanner lives in his own castle and has a pet elephant . . . . at least I’m pretty sure he said something about an Elephant and Castle !